I have 3 boys. They are currently ages 12, 9, and 4. Two have ADHD. One has Aspergers. One has dyslexia. And one was obviously just put here to torture his siblings and drive me insane. That pretty much says it all. My life is a complex mix of soccer, bug catching, mud wallowing, Lego booby traps, nut-shots, and all things relating to the release of bodily gases. Every day I teeter on the fine line between refereeing another fight over somebody stealing somebody elses shit in Minecraft and packing up my Rosetta stone and fleeing. I post occasional photos of my boys and their antics on my Facebook account, but I decided to share them here, too. This will be the first in a series that will hopefully give other moms the chance to either say, “My kids do that too,” or “Damn, I’ve got it easier than I thought.” Either way, hopefully you’ll have a laugh and hide your Learn Dutch in Two Hours tapes away for another day.
When you’re a mom of boys your youngest son will decide…
…that your push-up bra serves much better as an ass cushion for long coloring sessions.
As a mom of boys you will discover that if you leave that same child alone with paint because, God forbid, you have to pee…
… he will turn himself into a Na’vi in 2 minutes flat.
You will also find as a mom of boys that the same child who draws this masterpiece with sidewalk chalk…
…will wait until a total stranger is coming to inspect your house and draw this…
(On the upside, this son is severely dyslexic and I was told he spelled it all by himself…you have to find the little victories).
And there’s a brief glance into the everyday antics I endure. Trust me, I have more and I will share.
Do you have boy? Well, here’s a place to share. Tell us what crazy crap they’ve done and how you keep from dropping them off at the fire station (besides that stupid abandonment law written by people with less than 3 kids).
Ash Robbins 
I only have on, age 9. I will be having no other children. The one I have is about all my patience can take. Its a rollercoaster of emotion, that is for sure. But showers….why is it a fight to get him to BATHE! Blegh! I always ask “is this a boy thing?!” and for the most part I get the answer of “yes, it is”
Double blegh….with a side of blegh…
Good for you that you had the wisdom and personal insight to realize that you’d do best with one child. I think a lot of us don’t listen to our guts and are too scared to admit that we had another child (or 2, or 3, or…) despite a little voice telling us to quit while we’re ahead. I’m openly admiting to being one of those people. I love my kids but it certainly changes your life and sometimes you give up way more than you anticipated. All we can do is forge ahead and keep the liquor cabinet stocked 🙂
I just reread (is that really a word) your comment without screaming at children every 3 seconds and realized you weren’t neccessarily saying you only planned on having one. My mommy brain is in full gear and I just got through fighting with all 3 boys about (drumroll)… taking baths! Lord help us all.
Actually, that is kinda what I meant so you assumed correctly. I’m not married, I divorced 9 years ago and never dated or been in a relationship since and don’t see a relationship happening in the future but that is a whole other can o’ worms. But becuase of that, no more kids. So yeah, for now I only have the one and being that I’m not getting any younger and no husband in my future…that will be it 🙂
Sadly, my three grandsons, now 8 year old twins and one at 11, live outside DC so I don’t get to see them very often. But I’m sure, having heard my daughter mutter under her breath something you’re not supposed to do to kids, she shares your joy of having three kids – all boys.
Bud!! I missed you. I can send my ankle-biters over to break some of your crap and pee on the bathroom floor if you’re needing a dose of grandkids.